Purity

RE: I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity, and I Wish I Hadn’t by Samantha Pugsley

 

I recently came across an article entitled, “I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity, and I Wish I Hadn’t.” [You can read this post @ I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity, and I Wish I Hadn't.] As someone who has made the same commitment of purity, I was initially taken back by the bold claim, and decided to further my understanding of the author’s position. As I read through her testimonial, I’ll be honest I felt sorry for her. In the post, she tells of how her church strongly encouraged her to make this decision at a very young age, and how this decision slowly became her sole identity. As she states in the article, “For more than a decade, I wore my virginity like a badge of honor. My church encouraged me to do so, saying my testimony would inspire other young girls to follow suit. If the topic ever came up in conversation, I was happy to let people know that I had taken a pledge of purity.” However, her initial eagerness to remain pure faded into a learned disgust towards sexuality. As taught, the author believed sex to be sinful and wrong. This didn’t pose a problem until marriage—when her supposed purity would be taken away. As she states, “Everyone told me it would be uncomfortable the first time. What they didn’t tell me is that I would be back in the bathroom afterward, crying quietly for reasons I didn’t yet comprehend. They didn’t tell me that I’d be on my honeymoon, crying again, because sex felt dirty and wrong and sinful even though I was married and it was supposed to be okay now.”

Sad story, but what is so compelling about it? Unless you share the beliefs of Christian faith, the initial response to this piece is probably a mixture of pity towards the author, and annoyance with those who pressured and supported her decision to remain pure. However, between the lines there is a clear and persistent issue with the understanding of what purity really is, who it’s for, and why it exists in the first place. In the author’s case, she makes a commitment of purity because she’s encouraged to, and it’s the “right thing to do.” Nevertheless, she faces emotional turmoil as a direct result. Essentially, this points to a simple truth: A false understanding of purity coupled with wrong motives led the author to a painful struggle, and ultimately, complete loss of her faith in Christ.

…All of which brings me to the “So what?” factor. As you may be wondering, there is, in fact, a reason to me rehashing all of this information. As stated earlier in this post, I too, have committed to remain pure. However, unraveling the unfortunate story of the woman who wrote the article inspired me to return to the basics of why I chose a lifestyle of purity, and why I still choose purity to this day.

Purity is….

A deliberate decision to do one’s best in maintaining a lifestyle that is uplifting, free of sin, and glorifying to God.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5

Purity is for….

Everyone; married, single, male, or female. Purity isn’t just about not having sex before marriage; as stated above, it is a lifestyle decision.

³ For this is the will of God, your sanctification^[a] that you abstain from sexual immorality; ⁴ that each one of you know how to control his own body^[b] in holiness and honor. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

Purity exists because…

God created it for our protection. Although humanity and religion have transformed the definition of purity into a set of rules, rather, it acts as our shield. Purity keeps us from emotional and spiritual baggage that can be attached to poor decisions.

Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. Galatians 5:1 (MSG)

[For more on purity check out my post: Why I Choose Purity ]

It’s unfortunate that the author of the post described faced such difficult struggles emotionally after marriage, but what I found most disheartening was the sole fact that she was not exposed to the beauty that purity entails. My hope is that in reading this, you find true understanding of purity, and find that it is, in fact, a choice worth making.

Until next time,

Tamara