Active in the Unknown

Transitions are uncomfortable. Some days, it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that it has already been five months since I graduated college. The past few months for me have consisted of a series of job interviews, a change in financial responsibilities, and an extreme shift in day-to-day structure. Instead of balancing school, work, and several church responsibilities like I have the past four years of my life, I am now working part-time with no homework (Hallelujah!), no school, and fewer church responsibilities. I am constantly reminded by people I respect that I should embrace and enjoy this time, but in reality, this new lifestyle really caught me off guard and hasn’t been easy.

While I really enjoy having free time, I was surprised to discover how quickly loneliness and a lack of fulfillment started to weigh on me. As time swiftly passed by and I hadn’t moved in the direction I hoped I would after graduation, doubt and frustration started to take hold on me. From my perspective, I was doing all the right things and following God’s will for my life. I expected God to start answering my prayers and get my future rolling!

In frustration and perhaps even a little boredom, I started to memorize scripture in hopes that it might reveal something new to me in this challenging phase of life. After spending some time memorizing and reciting James 4, I was quickly awakened to some issues I had in my life.  The passage talks about desires, not getting what you want, and what God’s nature is in light of all our requests to Him. Through this passage, I learned (and am continuing to learn) that God answers our prayers and fulfills us when we choose to align our will directly with His. For me, this was a bit of a wake-up call to the fact that all my perfect plans for post-graduation life may not have been exactly what God had planned for me.

Beyond aligning my will to God’s will, I also feel that He has called me to refrain from passivity in the wake of the unknown. By this, I mean that God doesn’t want me to sit around idly simply because I don’t always know what direction He is going to guide me. Rather, I should be actively seeking His direction, and should be taking steps even when I don’t know the final destination.

As I am learning, this transitional phase of life very well may be a pivotal phase for me. While I await some answers and direction, I am grateful for the little bits of my story God has revealed and the small steps He has challenged me to take during this time.

If you are in a lonely, transitional, or unfulfilling time in life, I challenge you to refrain from passivity. While you may not know what is coming next or why you are placed where you are right now, I encourage you to seek God and allow Him to direct you. Sometimes, we can stifle our own ability to thrive when we refuse to veer from our own plan. In light of this, let us be willing, open, patient, and trusting in the Lord to direct us exactly where we need to be at exactly the right time.

Until next time,

Tamara

Unswerving Hope

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

While in Haiti, I had a conversation with a friend who has truly come against all odds to reach his goals. I stood there listening, dumbfounded, as he explained his life story to me. While I certainly enjoy a good testimony that starts with humble beginnings and ends in “happily ever after,” his story struck me as something much more authentic. There wasn’t an obvious solution to every problem he faced, and no single person swooped in to save the day. There was hard work involved. There was necessary planning and taking action. Most notably, there was an underlying hope.

One of the biggest obstacles in my friend’s life was finding the means to go to college. He simply did not have adequate funds to go. Beyond that, there were cultural and environmental barriers that would reduce the feasibility of a college education. Frankly, from a rational standpoint it was not possible. If you were to talk with my friend, however, you probably wouldn’t see it that way. He explained to me how on the first day of school, he didn’t even know how he was going to be able to pay for books or daily necessities. Nonetheless, he knew God called him to be there and that He would provide. Long story short, in his search for work, my friend came in contact with the exact people he needed. The people he met not only met financial needs, but supported him spiritually and emotionally. By having faith in God and working diligently to achieve the goals set before him, my friend has been able to attend college.

God’s faithfulness in my friend’s life is directly paralleled in his work as a gardener. As he works in a country that has faced many natural disasters, he has encountered several situations that have wiped out his livelihood. In spite of the hurricanes, earthquakes, and other unpredictable obstacles that have destroyed life, he has not stopped planting, re-building, and working to revive the garden. With my own eyes, I can say that I have literally seen his hard labor bear fruit. Remaining hopeful and diligent to the work set before him, God has provided life and restoration.

God is good and He provides! My friend’s story doesn’t end there in a “happily ever after,” though. He still has to face the challenges of finding a career in a place that has limited opportunity. When I asked him how he felt about the prospects of his future after graduating college, he looked at me in the eye and said, “When you work hard and follow God’s will for your life, He will take care of you.” These words were very meaningful to me and will be something I remember.

In Hebrews 10:23, we are charged to “hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” I am thankful to have a friend that has spoken this truth into my life. As I am in a stage of life that comes with a lot of unanswered questions and waiting, I am encouraged to remain hopeful in Christ. I am challenged to diligently seek God’s will for my life, as I know that He keeps His promises to those who faithfully follow Him. 

Until next time,

Tamara

Embracing the Uncomfortable

When I was a kid, I had many grandiose plans for my future. I had all kinds of ideas about what early adulthood would entail, and I was certain that everything would just sort of fall into place. While it may have been a bit naïve to think this way, I grew up watching so many people around me whisk through life with what seemed to be such ease and grace. They knew what they wanted out of life, they chased their dreams, and often times it seemed like everything just worked out.

As I am sitting here now, less than three months away from graduating college, I can’t help but laugh at my youthful perspective. While I absolutely support pursuing dreams and believe that hard work pays off, I have learned that there are other factors involved in shaping one’s future. Life isn’t quite as simple as a checklist of acquiring skills, dreams, and accolades. Rather, there is a significant amount of personal growth that has to take place to get to these points. Furthermore, there may be detours along the way that postpone reaching these goals. And, perhaps the most difficult to come to terms with, is that personal dreams may not always align with God’s perfect plan.

If someone was to ask me in my childhood where I thought I would be in life in my early twenties, I’m positive I would not have answered anything along the lines of where I actually am today. While I have had to grow and learn some things the hard way, have faced obstacles to attaining goals, and have even been completely re-routed to a different path than I had planned, I can honestly say, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My five-year-old self would have told you I couldn’t wait to grow up and chase my dreams. As I have grown older, however, I have realized that perhaps my dreams were not the dreams I should have be chasing.

 In Romans 8:28, Paul states, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

This verse is so reassuring to me. As it clearly depicts, I am a child of God created with a purpose in mind. Beyond that, as a follower of Him, God is working for my good. So while I might have many great dreams that could blossom into something tangible and remarkable, how much better would it be if I sought to attain the goals and purpose that God set out for my life before I even came into existence? How much better could I be if I embraced the things God has challenged me to pursue?

As I am entering a transitional phase of life and certainly still possess many dreams and goals, I am not suggesting the best idea is to throw these hopes out the window. Rather, I am choosing today to yield my dreams to God. I am choosing to place His will above my own, as His ways are perfect and better than mine. I am choosing to embrace any challenges or uncomfortable things that come about because I know that God is working for my good.

If you are feeling uncertain, disappointed, or even cynical towards your future, I challenge you to adopt a new mindset. Don’t give up on your dreams. Instead, give them to God. Ask God if your dreams are something that He has planned for you. Embrace moments of growth and correction. If your dreams turn out to be something that God does not have planned for your life, be willing to aspire to His greater call. Whether you feel like it right now or not, God has created you with a purpose. Beyond that, there is nothing He desires more than for you to seek His will.

Until next time,

Tamara

Haiti 2016: The Reality

“Give me money.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that right now.”

“Why do you want my family to starve?”

This was the beginning of an actual conversation I had with a real person who possessed real needs and real feelings. I have to say, I was very caught off guard by this bold statement directed towards me. Part of me was shocked that someone could just blatantly make such a claim, and wanted to jump into defensive mode; leery of the possibility that this individual may have been trying to manipulate me into giving them money. The other part of me was really shaken up by this, realizing that the person I was speaking with may, in fact, have been in a level of such great desperation that they felt the need to go to such extreme measures in order to get my attention.

At somewhat of a loss for words, I began to ask the young man about his family. Although there was a bit of a language barrier, from my understanding, he was trying to tell me that his mother was ill and his father had left their family. There was a sadness in his voice, and in the moment I really just wished I could meet all of his needs. We talked for a little while longer, and I left the boy with a promise to pray for his family through this difficult time.

Honestly, I am not satisfied with how I handled this. I wish I would’ve given him a meal to take home, or something more. It happened very quickly, and I was not fully prepared for it. Nevertheless, this encounter really shifted my perspective.

While it would be easy to overlook this exchange and focus on the happy memories I had in Haiti, I must not neglect the gravity of encounters like this. That conversation was NOT comfortable! Nonetheless, it was an important conversation. It reminded me to stay in tune with the needs of those around me. It challenged me to be more willing to sacrifice, putting others before myself. It pushed me to lean more on the direction of the Holy Spirit, and less on my own understanding.

Although I am not advocating passing out money to strangers, I think it is very important that, when appropriate, we are willing to make a sacrifice for others. The reality is, while some people may have genuine needs and others may have ulterior motives, each person has a story. Likewise, we must be willing to sit down and listen. We must be willing to take time for them, meanwhile listening to the direction of the Holy Spirit. Maybe it’s a prayer they need, or maybe it’s a meal. Maybe it’s just a smile or hug.

Whatever the case may be, I challenge you, as I have been personally challenged, to be step outside your comfort zone and offer yourself to be used by God. Allow yourself to love people in the way that Jesus loved us. I am learning that offering this type of love is often a gateway to making God's unconditional love known to those around us. 

Until next time,

Tamara

Haiti 2016: The Reunion

In July 2014, I stepped on a plane headed back to the United States, feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I was leaving a place that had left such a significant impact on my heart. God had done great things on the trip I had just taken, as well as on the first trip I took to Haiti in 2012, but there was an unsettled feeling within me. I sensed God saying to me, “You are not finished here.” Little did I know, the rest of my story would pick up in 2016 with a college group that would grow to be very important to me, and with an outreach organization that would soon inspire me in ways that I never could have anticipated.

Last week, I had the joy of returning to Les Cayes, Haiti. This experience certainly brought a multitude of emotions, challenges, and opportunities to learn. Most of all, however, it led me to be closer to God. Although I have a countess number of stories to share, over the next few days I would love to simply highlight a few of the things that truly left a lasting impact on me.

Perhaps, the most impactful encounter I experienced last week was with Daphne (pictured on the left) and Bethsaida (pictured on the right).

In 2012, I met two girls that immediately had a special connection with me and my mom. Although there was a language barrier, we communicated in a way that was beyond words. We laughed together, played games, sang together, and shared many special moments. I grew to love Bethsaida’s spunky, energetic personality, and Daphne’s quiet, sweet spirit. I especially related to Daphne, as her interests and temperament were so similar to my own.

In 2014, my parents and I returned to Haiti and got to see these girls once again. It was such a special time to see how they had grown. Getting to spend another week with them really led me and my parents to feel a new level of love for these girls. They weren’t just “some kids” that we sponsored; they were a part of our family. They were (and ARE) valuable individuals that deserved to have someone praying for them and loving them.

Little did I know, I would once again see these beautiful girls! The only way I can describe how this happened is by God. On the trip I took last week, I was coming with a different church and partnering with a different program called “Hut Outreach.” While I was still extremely excited to return to Haiti and work alongside this organization, I couldn’t help but wish I could still see these girls.

That wish came true.

Long story short, the two organizations were only a ten minute drive apart, and it just so happens that they planned to connect for the first time during my stay in Haiti. After visiting with the missionaries at Arise Haiti (where I first met the girls), I knew that I needed to see them again. By the grace of God (and the help of some very intentional missionaries), we were able to arrange a last-minute meeting!

It’s hard to put into words what this meant to me, but it was something very special. I was able to share with Daphne and Bethsaida something God put on my heart to tell them. I may not ever know if these words meant anything to them, but I know that God softened my heart to love and care for them in a way far beyond what I ever could have on my own.  

I am so grateful for this experience. It is something I will truly never forget. 

Until next time,

Tamara

Tomorrow

Tomorrow. It’s a scary thing. It’s an exciting thing. It’s affected by our choices today, yet holds the power to bring something new. It can bring destruction. It can bring hope. Tomorrow is undefined. Perhaps, then, that is why many of us spend our days thinking about tomorrow. Whether you find yourself in the category of longing for tomorrow, wishing life was better, or worrying about tomorrow, hoping it won’t bring pain, there is risk in dwelling on tomorrow. As we become consumed with the variables of what is to come, we fail to cherish the moments we have in front of us. Furthermore, we may drift into self-reliance and a lack of faith in God.

Dwelling on tomorrow is certainly something that challenges me. As a single college student who is one year away from graduating, I spend a lot of time thinking about my next steps in life. Will I find the right job? Will I be able to afford grad school right away? When will I move out of my parent’s house? Will I find the right person to marry? While these are normal questions that one may have during this stage of life, they may become dangerous if I allow them to consume me. I must be careful not to forget about the life I’ve been given right now. I must not lose sight of the fact that God has placed me where I am for a distinct purpose. The school I am attending, the job I have, and the relationships I have with others are not to be simply viewed as an intermission. These moments are just as important as the future. As tomorrow may hold new opportunities and challenges, today holds unique opportunities and trials of its own. Likewise, it is vital that I give today the same attention I give tomorrow.

Beyond running the risk of neglecting today, dwelling on tomorrow may cause me to drift towards a lack of dependence on God. As someone who always likes to have a plan, I don’t like the idea of not knowing what my future holds. It’s uncomfortable. It’s scary. It’s out of my control, and to be honest, I am not a fan of that! However, when I spend time worrying about tomorrow, I am actually cultivating a lack of trust in God. 

In the Bible, Matthew talks about how God cares for Creation. God never ceases to provide for the birds, the plants, and other creatures. How much more, then, must he care for His people? (Matthew 6:25-34).  Something I must continuously remind myself of is that when I surrender my life to God and follow Him, He will take care of my needs. Therefore, I don’t need to worry. I don’t need to rely on my own strength to control a situation because God has promised to direct me through every situation (Jeremiah 30:22). Furthermore, He has promised the same for you!

If you find yourself feeling the weight of tomorrow, I challenge you to take a step back and reflect on today. While tomorrow may present new opportunities and challenges, there is purpose in today. Allow yourself to grow, learn, and trust God through whatever it is you are facing right now. As you grow in contentment of today, God will prepare you for tomorrow. 

Until next time,

Tamara

Stop Waiting

 As a single woman, I have come across dozens of articles regarding what I must search for in a man. While the articles vary from encouraging to downright ridiculous, suggesting there is a man out there who will eventually wait on me hand and foot, I have become increasingly bothered by these posts. It is healthy to desire a significant other who is kind, Godly, righteous, and faithful. It is great to avoid settling for less than that. By no means am I suggesting that it is erroneous to encourage and set healthy standards for a relationship. However, I feel that the attention this topic has received has taken away from a greater issue at hand. While relationships have the power to shape us, inspire us, encourage us, and benefit us, they should not define us. They should not be our ultimate goal. They should not take away from our purpose today.

Far too often, our society fools us into believing that finding “the one” is more important than it truly is. Our happiness, our completion, our future, and our arrival into adulthood supposedly hinge on the pretense of finding one’s “soulmate.” Likewise, those of us who are single are expected to sit around and wait patiently for just the right person to walk into our lives.

What if we wait patiently, refuse to settle for an unhealthy relationship, and that person NEVER comes?

As much as I’d like to promise that eventually we will all find that perfect relationship, there is no guarantee that that will happen. The GOOD news is, we do not have to wait around for a supposedly “life-changing” relationship in order to move forward in life. Rather, God has promised us that we have purpose, may grow, and may find completion TODAY through Him.

As Ephesians 2:10 states, ^“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

We were not created to be completed by some other human being. Rather, we were created with specific, unique purposes that God himself crafted. We were created to carry out God’s plan for our lives, whatever that may look like. Therefore, I encourage you…

Stop waiting for who God has created for you, and start becoming who God created you to be.

Maybe you’ll meet a special person one day that helps you grow and brings you joy. Whether or not that happens, you and I can take heart in the fact that God has given each one of us a unique purpose on this earth. Likewise, it is our responsibility to act on the gifts He has given us. Don’t let the idea of finding the perfect relationship someday hinder you from experiencing all that God has for you today. Instead, I challenge you to stop waiting. Stop waiting for what could be, and start striving to become the person God has created you to be today.

Until next time,

Tamara