A Letter to the Brokenhearted

Grief is something personal and unique. Some feel it very deeply, while others feel nothing at all and wait tirelessly for some sort of emotion to surface. While no experience is quite the same and everyone processes loss differently, we all go through varying levels of grief throughout a lifetime.

Currently, I am in season in which many people close to me are suffering great loss. Whether you find yourself in a place of brokenness right now or not, I would like to share a word of encouragement about the promises of God in the wake of tragedy.

1. God is ever-present. You are not alone.

In our darkest moments, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing the lie that we are alone. While people may express sympathies and even provide words of encouragement, there are still many moments that can feel empty and silent. While it’s easy to slip into isolation during these times, Scripture offers a promise that is far better than handling grief alone. As Jesus states in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” God does not ignore or abandon His people. While we are not exempt from tragedy, God promises to bring peace to us when we seek Him.

2. God is steady. You can lean on Him.

Life is fragile, and the world is constantly changing. Some days are harder than others, and in times of loss we may long for the simple comfort of routine and constancy. It is written in Isaiah 40:28, “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” While it may feel as though we are drowning in the pain and heartache of this world, God is the unchanging Father that we can lean on when everything else feels like it’s withering away.

3. Being weak is okay because God can be your strength.

“Stay strong” can be one of the most frustrating phrases for a grieving person. While some would suggest that grief is supposed to provoke a sense of self-reliance and internal strength, I would argue the opposite. Rather, grief pushes us to a place of brokenness in which our own strength is not sufficient. In 2 Corinthians 12:8, Paul receives a word from the Lord that states, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” While feeling weak is definitely not pleasurable, there is an underlying promise in our weakness that is beautiful. As evidenced in this text, God takes our greatest pain and promises to replace it with His strength.

4. There is redemption. Your sorrow is not wasted.

Grief and loss are struggles nobody wants to face. Nonetheless, God promises to redeem and give purpose to our pain. In Romans 5:3-5, it states “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” While the process of grief is hard, God uses it to develop who we are. It becomes a part of our story. When we suffer deeply and choose to surrender our pain to Him, He promises to make our pain into something beautiful.

Although life may seem unmanageable and God may seem far away, take hold to the truth that you are not alone. God is with you. He sees you. He can be the solid rock on which you lean. He can be the strength when you feel weak. He can turn your sorrow and mourning into something beautiful. It is my prayer that those of you who are currently feeling overcome with grief will believe these truths and sense God’s presence in your life more now than ever before.

Until next time,

Tamara

Selah

Pause. Pause to examine what God is doing right now. Pause to listen. Pause to reflect. Pause because God is good right now, even if nothing seems to make sense. Selah.

Selah is a Hebrew word used throughout the Bible, particularly in Psalms. Typically, the word appears after a new thought or idea is presented, indicating a transition to the next thing. Biblical scholars have debated for many years on the exact meaning of the word Selah. While some believe it is simply a musical transition word, others believe it means to “pause,” “reflect,” or “praise.” Although I’m not a biblical scholar by any measure, I tend to think Selah could very well be both a musical transition word and an instruction to pause, reflect, and praise God.

It is clear that while we may not fully understand the meaning of Selah today, it was something important to the writers of the Bible. Hence, it was included over seventy times throughout the book of Psalms.

The more I look into the expressions of David and other Psalmists during these excerpts containing “Selah,” the more I am convinced that this transition, pause, and reflection was something essential. For example, in Psalm 46, the sons of Korah begin the Psalm by crying out that God is our strength despite the immense trouble in the world. Thereafter, “Selah” is written. Then, they go on to say that God is among us and will release His power when morning dawns. “Selah.” Finally, the Psalm goes on to say that God brings desolations on the earth, but He has the power to restore everything. He will be our fortress in all the hard times. “Selah.”

This Psalm, from my interpretation, reveals a moment in which the writers were reflecting and pausing to honor and remember God’s power. To me, it’s almost as if they were proclaiming those words and repeating them again and again until they fully believed in their meaning. In this passage I picture their hearts declaring, “So be it. Yes, these words are true. Yes, God is good. Yes, He is powerful,” each time Selah is written.  

While I can’t know for sure how accurate my interpretation is on the word “Selah,” I know that this practice of pausing, reflecting, and praising God in the transitions of life is a healthy and Biblical thing to do. As I am in a phase of life in which there are many ups and downs and a whole lot of waiting and wondering, I am challenged by the Psalmists to add “Selah” into each day. To transition effectively from one thing to the next, I must reflect and remember God’s goodness. I must not waiver from my trust in Him. While I may be tempted to move on to whatever the next phase is in life, I cannot forget to pause and note God’s presence and strength in my life that holds true RIGHT NOW. Therefore, I am committing my life to honor God’s goodness by pausing, remembering, reflecting on, and repeating His true Word daily.

Until next time,

Tamara

Active in the Unknown

Transitions are uncomfortable. Some days, it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that it has already been five months since I graduated college. The past few months for me have consisted of a series of job interviews, a change in financial responsibilities, and an extreme shift in day-to-day structure. Instead of balancing school, work, and several church responsibilities like I have the past four years of my life, I am now working part-time with no homework (Hallelujah!), no school, and fewer church responsibilities. I am constantly reminded by people I respect that I should embrace and enjoy this time, but in reality, this new lifestyle really caught me off guard and hasn’t been easy.

While I really enjoy having free time, I was surprised to discover how quickly loneliness and a lack of fulfillment started to weigh on me. As time swiftly passed by and I hadn’t moved in the direction I hoped I would after graduation, doubt and frustration started to take hold on me. From my perspective, I was doing all the right things and following God’s will for my life. I expected God to start answering my prayers and get my future rolling!

In frustration and perhaps even a little boredom, I started to memorize scripture in hopes that it might reveal something new to me in this challenging phase of life. After spending some time memorizing and reciting James 4, I was quickly awakened to some issues I had in my life.  The passage talks about desires, not getting what you want, and what God’s nature is in light of all our requests to Him. Through this passage, I learned (and am continuing to learn) that God answers our prayers and fulfills us when we choose to align our will directly with His. For me, this was a bit of a wake-up call to the fact that all my perfect plans for post-graduation life may not have been exactly what God had planned for me.

Beyond aligning my will to God’s will, I also feel that He has called me to refrain from passivity in the wake of the unknown. By this, I mean that God doesn’t want me to sit around idly simply because I don’t always know what direction He is going to guide me. Rather, I should be actively seeking His direction, and should be taking steps even when I don’t know the final destination.

As I am learning, this transitional phase of life very well may be a pivotal phase for me. While I await some answers and direction, I am grateful for the little bits of my story God has revealed and the small steps He has challenged me to take during this time.

If you are in a lonely, transitional, or unfulfilling time in life, I challenge you to refrain from passivity. While you may not know what is coming next or why you are placed where you are right now, I encourage you to seek God and allow Him to direct you. Sometimes, we can stifle our own ability to thrive when we refuse to veer from our own plan. In light of this, let us be willing, open, patient, and trusting in the Lord to direct us exactly where we need to be at exactly the right time.

Until next time,

Tamara

Unswerving Hope

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

While in Haiti, I had a conversation with a friend who has truly come against all odds to reach his goals. I stood there listening, dumbfounded, as he explained his life story to me. While I certainly enjoy a good testimony that starts with humble beginnings and ends in “happily ever after,” his story struck me as something much more authentic. There wasn’t an obvious solution to every problem he faced, and no single person swooped in to save the day. There was hard work involved. There was necessary planning and taking action. Most notably, there was an underlying hope.

One of the biggest obstacles in my friend’s life was finding the means to go to college. He simply did not have adequate funds to go. Beyond that, there were cultural and environmental barriers that would reduce the feasibility of a college education. Frankly, from a rational standpoint it was not possible. If you were to talk with my friend, however, you probably wouldn’t see it that way. He explained to me how on the first day of school, he didn’t even know how he was going to be able to pay for books or daily necessities. Nonetheless, he knew God called him to be there and that He would provide. Long story short, in his search for work, my friend came in contact with the exact people he needed. The people he met not only met financial needs, but supported him spiritually and emotionally. By having faith in God and working diligently to achieve the goals set before him, my friend has been able to attend college.

God’s faithfulness in my friend’s life is directly paralleled in his work as a gardener. As he works in a country that has faced many natural disasters, he has encountered several situations that have wiped out his livelihood. In spite of the hurricanes, earthquakes, and other unpredictable obstacles that have destroyed life, he has not stopped planting, re-building, and working to revive the garden. With my own eyes, I can say that I have literally seen his hard labor bear fruit. Remaining hopeful and diligent to the work set before him, God has provided life and restoration.

God is good and He provides! My friend’s story doesn’t end there in a “happily ever after,” though. He still has to face the challenges of finding a career in a place that has limited opportunity. When I asked him how he felt about the prospects of his future after graduating college, he looked at me in the eye and said, “When you work hard and follow God’s will for your life, He will take care of you.” These words were very meaningful to me and will be something I remember.

In Hebrews 10:23, we are charged to “hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.” I am thankful to have a friend that has spoken this truth into my life. As I am in a stage of life that comes with a lot of unanswered questions and waiting, I am encouraged to remain hopeful in Christ. I am challenged to diligently seek God’s will for my life, as I know that He keeps His promises to those who faithfully follow Him. 

Until next time,

Tamara

Embracing the Uncomfortable

When I was a kid, I had many grandiose plans for my future. I had all kinds of ideas about what early adulthood would entail, and I was certain that everything would just sort of fall into place. While it may have been a bit naïve to think this way, I grew up watching so many people around me whisk through life with what seemed to be such ease and grace. They knew what they wanted out of life, they chased their dreams, and often times it seemed like everything just worked out.

As I am sitting here now, less than three months away from graduating college, I can’t help but laugh at my youthful perspective. While I absolutely support pursuing dreams and believe that hard work pays off, I have learned that there are other factors involved in shaping one’s future. Life isn’t quite as simple as a checklist of acquiring skills, dreams, and accolades. Rather, there is a significant amount of personal growth that has to take place to get to these points. Furthermore, there may be detours along the way that postpone reaching these goals. And, perhaps the most difficult to come to terms with, is that personal dreams may not always align with God’s perfect plan.

If someone was to ask me in my childhood where I thought I would be in life in my early twenties, I’m positive I would not have answered anything along the lines of where I actually am today. While I have had to grow and learn some things the hard way, have faced obstacles to attaining goals, and have even been completely re-routed to a different path than I had planned, I can honestly say, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My five-year-old self would have told you I couldn’t wait to grow up and chase my dreams. As I have grown older, however, I have realized that perhaps my dreams were not the dreams I should have be chasing.

 In Romans 8:28, Paul states, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

This verse is so reassuring to me. As it clearly depicts, I am a child of God created with a purpose in mind. Beyond that, as a follower of Him, God is working for my good. So while I might have many great dreams that could blossom into something tangible and remarkable, how much better would it be if I sought to attain the goals and purpose that God set out for my life before I even came into existence? How much better could I be if I embraced the things God has challenged me to pursue?

As I am entering a transitional phase of life and certainly still possess many dreams and goals, I am not suggesting the best idea is to throw these hopes out the window. Rather, I am choosing today to yield my dreams to God. I am choosing to place His will above my own, as His ways are perfect and better than mine. I am choosing to embrace any challenges or uncomfortable things that come about because I know that God is working for my good.

If you are feeling uncertain, disappointed, or even cynical towards your future, I challenge you to adopt a new mindset. Don’t give up on your dreams. Instead, give them to God. Ask God if your dreams are something that He has planned for you. Embrace moments of growth and correction. If your dreams turn out to be something that God does not have planned for your life, be willing to aspire to His greater call. Whether you feel like it right now or not, God has created you with a purpose. Beyond that, there is nothing He desires more than for you to seek His will.

Until next time,

Tamara

Haiti 2016: The Reality

“Give me money.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that right now.”

“Why do you want my family to starve?”

This was the beginning of an actual conversation I had with a real person who possessed real needs and real feelings. I have to say, I was very caught off guard by this bold statement directed towards me. Part of me was shocked that someone could just blatantly make such a claim, and wanted to jump into defensive mode; leery of the possibility that this individual may have been trying to manipulate me into giving them money. The other part of me was really shaken up by this, realizing that the person I was speaking with may, in fact, have been in a level of such great desperation that they felt the need to go to such extreme measures in order to get my attention.

At somewhat of a loss for words, I began to ask the young man about his family. Although there was a bit of a language barrier, from my understanding, he was trying to tell me that his mother was ill and his father had left their family. There was a sadness in his voice, and in the moment I really just wished I could meet all of his needs. We talked for a little while longer, and I left the boy with a promise to pray for his family through this difficult time.

Honestly, I am not satisfied with how I handled this. I wish I would’ve given him a meal to take home, or something more. It happened very quickly, and I was not fully prepared for it. Nevertheless, this encounter really shifted my perspective.

While it would be easy to overlook this exchange and focus on the happy memories I had in Haiti, I must not neglect the gravity of encounters like this. That conversation was NOT comfortable! Nonetheless, it was an important conversation. It reminded me to stay in tune with the needs of those around me. It challenged me to be more willing to sacrifice, putting others before myself. It pushed me to lean more on the direction of the Holy Spirit, and less on my own understanding.

Although I am not advocating passing out money to strangers, I think it is very important that, when appropriate, we are willing to make a sacrifice for others. The reality is, while some people may have genuine needs and others may have ulterior motives, each person has a story. Likewise, we must be willing to sit down and listen. We must be willing to take time for them, meanwhile listening to the direction of the Holy Spirit. Maybe it’s a prayer they need, or maybe it’s a meal. Maybe it’s just a smile or hug.

Whatever the case may be, I challenge you, as I have been personally challenged, to be step outside your comfort zone and offer yourself to be used by God. Allow yourself to love people in the way that Jesus loved us. I am learning that offering this type of love is often a gateway to making God's unconditional love known to those around us. 

Until next time,

Tamara

Haiti 2016: The Reunion

In July 2014, I stepped on a plane headed back to the United States, feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I was leaving a place that had left such a significant impact on my heart. God had done great things on the trip I had just taken, as well as on the first trip I took to Haiti in 2012, but there was an unsettled feeling within me. I sensed God saying to me, “You are not finished here.” Little did I know, the rest of my story would pick up in 2016 with a college group that would grow to be very important to me, and with an outreach organization that would soon inspire me in ways that I never could have anticipated.

Last week, I had the joy of returning to Les Cayes, Haiti. This experience certainly brought a multitude of emotions, challenges, and opportunities to learn. Most of all, however, it led me to be closer to God. Although I have a countess number of stories to share, over the next few days I would love to simply highlight a few of the things that truly left a lasting impact on me.

Perhaps, the most impactful encounter I experienced last week was with Daphne (pictured on the left) and Bethsaida (pictured on the right).

In 2012, I met two girls that immediately had a special connection with me and my mom. Although there was a language barrier, we communicated in a way that was beyond words. We laughed together, played games, sang together, and shared many special moments. I grew to love Bethsaida’s spunky, energetic personality, and Daphne’s quiet, sweet spirit. I especially related to Daphne, as her interests and temperament were so similar to my own.

In 2014, my parents and I returned to Haiti and got to see these girls once again. It was such a special time to see how they had grown. Getting to spend another week with them really led me and my parents to feel a new level of love for these girls. They weren’t just “some kids” that we sponsored; they were a part of our family. They were (and ARE) valuable individuals that deserved to have someone praying for them and loving them.

Little did I know, I would once again see these beautiful girls! The only way I can describe how this happened is by God. On the trip I took last week, I was coming with a different church and partnering with a different program called “Hut Outreach.” While I was still extremely excited to return to Haiti and work alongside this organization, I couldn’t help but wish I could still see these girls.

That wish came true.

Long story short, the two organizations were only a ten minute drive apart, and it just so happens that they planned to connect for the first time during my stay in Haiti. After visiting with the missionaries at Arise Haiti (where I first met the girls), I knew that I needed to see them again. By the grace of God (and the help of some very intentional missionaries), we were able to arrange a last-minute meeting!

It’s hard to put into words what this meant to me, but it was something very special. I was able to share with Daphne and Bethsaida something God put on my heart to tell them. I may not ever know if these words meant anything to them, but I know that God softened my heart to love and care for them in a way far beyond what I ever could have on my own.  

I am so grateful for this experience. It is something I will truly never forget. 

Until next time,

Tamara