Sometimes, we have to walk through the wilderness before
reaching the Promised Land.
Have you ever been through a season of life where nothing
seems to make sense, you’ve lost your sense of direction, and the end doesn’t
seem to be anywhere in sight?
Recently, I have gone through a pretty big transition in my life that could be considered “time in the wilderness.” After a seven month internship in Haiti, things abruptly changed as I was sent home four months early due to civil unrest. Three months have passed since then, and I have spent much of this time regrouping, contemplating what my future holds, applying to a seemingly endless number of jobs, and trying to find my place. The thoughts, “What am I doing?” “Where am I going?” and “What is the next step?” have troubled my mind throughout these months.
I would love to say that this whole time I have trusted in
the Lord to direct my path and sustain me, but that is just not the full truth.
There are several times in which I have grown weary, become frustrated, or even
tried to take matters into my own hands. Despite my control-freak tendencies,
it has become extremely clear that God has been using this time to grow my
faith, teach me obedience, and stretch my patience.
Throughout this season, I am blessed to say that I have been
taken care of very well. While my bank account wouldn’t exactly suggest I’m
stable, God has provided for me and met every need in this time. In fact, He
has even given me opportunities to bless others. He has reminded me that He is
the One who supplies every need, not a job or a full bank account.
Additionally, this season has given me so many opportunities
to meet with people and build friendships. If I was occupied with a job or
school, I don’t believe I would have been able to maintain and grow in
community in the way I have been able to throughout this time.
Finally, this season has given me a substantial amount of
time to reflect, heal, and grow. If I’m being honest, I’ve struggled
emotionally more this year than I have in a very long time. I do not find it to
be coincidental that when I got home and immediately tried to press “go,” God
closed some doors and forced me into a time of “pause.”
The wilderness is often something people like to skip over or
ignore as part of the process. In reality though, we often have to go through
the wilderness before reaching the Promised Land. I wholeheartedly believe God
has great, big plans for every person. However, it is often in the moments of
waiting and uncertainty that we are able to grow and prepare for all that He
has planned.
“Your clothes did not
wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know that in
your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord God disciplines you. Observe
the commands of the Lord your God, walking in obedience to Him and revering Him.
For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with brooks,
streams, and deep springs gushing out into the valleys and hills, a land with
wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey, a
land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing,” Deuteronomy 8:4-9
Until next time,
Tamara
