From Schedules to Surrender

I’m a lover of plans. I didn’t truly even recognize this quality within myself until I moved to a culture in which plans and schedules were secondary, and anything could change at a moment’s notice. For those who are naturally gifted in flexibility and “going with the flow,” I sure do admire you! While plans certainly have their place and are necessary to function in society, there is a beauty and vulnerability within flexibility that allows for mighty moves of the Holy Spirit.

For those who don’t know, my “plans” have been on a bit of a rollercoaster for the past several months. From planning to start graduate school and being called to do an internship in Haiti instead, to moving out of an apartment and losing roommates on a short notice, to being evacuated from a country I’ve grown to love with only 36 hours to pack and say goodbye, I’ve had my fair share of plans being changed.

Talking to friends and family during this phase of life, I have often joked about what tomorrow may bring, stating that you just never know!

Jokes aside, though, it really is interesting to think about what this phase of unpredictability has taught me. I have pondered the questions, “What if I had stuck to my own plan and started graduate school?” “What if I had avoided the path set before me to satisfy my personal desires?” “What if I took the periods of great uncertainty as an opportunity to give up on God?”

I don’t know where I would be right now if I simply pursued my own will in life, but I do know that I would be missing out on meeting some incredible people, experiencing some beautiful moments, and learning some really hard lessons. Most of all, I think I could have easily lost sight of my need for Jesus.

While I am very much still in the process of pursuing God in complete surrender, trust, and obedience, He has taught me some very important lessons through this process.

1.  God does not operate within the constraints of human time and understanding.

Yikes. As much as I don’t like this point, it is really true. It may take years to understand why God has put me on the course that He has. I may never fully grasp the purpose of each turn on the route. Rather, His plans are grander than I can understand and have divine timing.

2. God is always up to something bigger, better, and more powerful than I could ever expect!

Now this point, I like! I’m not going to lie, being obedient to God in this season has been tough. However, some of the relationships I have built and experiences I have had really make it all worth it. There were a number of occasions during my time in Haiti that I just sat back and thought, “Wow, I never could have orchestrated something as cool as this to happen.” Through the hard moments and the Spirit-filled moments, I have learned that God is always working below the surface to do something deep and remarkable.

As a true lover of plans, I want to encourage you today to, perhaps, loosen the reins of your own control over plans. As difficult as it is to be obedient and wholeheartedly trust God with every step, He is SO GOOD and SO FAITHFUL. He can be trusted.

Despite the rollercoaster this season has been, God has taken care of me every step! He has honored my faithfulness, and comforted me in the unknown. He has protected me, taught me, guided me, empowered me, and blessed me abundantly. Likewise, I am trusting Him with whatever is next! If you find yourself in a similar state of uncertainty, I urge you to do the same.

God’s plans are bigger, better, and more powerful than we could ever expect.

Until next time,

Tamara

The Race

Outside of the periodic photograph, I never truly documented my journey of accomplishing a life goal: to run a 10k race. As I am now several months removed from this feat (and certainly in worse physical shape), it is interesting to look back on this season in my life. I never could have imagined how much the physical stretching, pain, and triumph would teach me and prepare me for actual life.

As cliché as it may seem, life is truly like a really long run sometimes. Before the race begins, there’s a ton of necessary prep work that nobody will ever see. There’s a beginning, there’s an end, and there’s a bunch of stuff in the middle that makes you feel like you’re going to throw up. Oh, and there’s also some beautiful moments along the way too. All of these facets are necessary parts to a race, as well as necessary parts to life.

Without completely boring you, I’d like to briefly share some of the parallels between running and life I’ve learned that have become very meaningful to me.

1.       Prior to the “start,” there is intentional thought, preparation, and hard work that must take place.

Leading up to my 10k, the preparation could easily be identified as the hardest part. Nearly every day of the week I forced myself to run a little bit further. No matter what “pump up” music I had playing, it was tough. Many days felt like I would never make it to 6.2 miles. Progress seemed slow. However, it was the diligence of running each day that led my body to be able to reach its necessary fitness level for the race.

In terms of my life, things are not all that different. I believe God has called me to do something involving trauma therapy, and maybe something long-term in Haiti. This is obviously something that does not just happen automatically. While God has certainly given me some skills and abilities that will help me, there is a necessary learning and pruning process that has to take place first.

2.       The starting line is filled with energy, support, and encouragement.

The adrenaline rush that comes at the start a race is hard to put into words. Disregarding the fact that I got lost driving in Detroit and almost missed my race, it was an invigorating experience to watch time countdown to the moment for which I had been waiting and preparing. Many people were there cheering in support as I, along with the other runners, took off to begin the race.

I feel it is a similar experience in life. I have always found people I love and care about to be present during the big moments. Whether it was my first baby step, my first speech, or my send-off to Haiti, there was excitement, support, and encouragement that surrounded me in each starting moment.

3.       The middle is sparse in support, but small acts in the midst of everything become deeply important.

Once I got into my 10k race, there weren’t too many people around. The runners dispersed and cheering supporters were relatively infrequent. However, I had a friend with me that had agreed to run the race. She was clearly more fit than I, and could’ve evidently outran me. However, each time I had to slow down to catch my breath and told her she could run ahead, she told me “No, I’m running the race with you. Take your time. We’re going to finish this together.” This meant so much to me to have someone willing to run the race by my side, even if it meant setting her back.

One thing I love about life, is there is someone who has promised to never leave my side, no matter how much I slow down or get discouraged. While God didn’t promise a perfect or easy path, He promises to be there with His children through each moment. For that, I am so grateful!

4.       There are inevitable challenges that will try to throw you off course.

I’m not sure what other people have experienced in 10k races, but my experience was certainly frustrating at points. Around mile four or five, the race was supposed to reroute, and it became extremely unclear where to run. As I was running at a slower pace, I found this out after catching up to a confused group of other runners. We all had to talk together to see if we could find the way. Eventually, we ran into a kind man that had already finished and had come back to direct the correct path.

My life has definitely been full of confusing moments and challenges that have tempted me to get off course. Nothing is worse than getting close to a goal, then finding out about an unforeseen obstacle that must be crossed first. Nonetheless, it is in these moments I have learned that I must push through and persevere to finish the goal God has set before me. Notably, God has never left me hanging in the face of an obstacle. He has always managed to provide the knowledge or help needed to make it through.

5.       There’s hope and joy that comes with envisioning the finish line.

Prior to actually running the race, I thought the last mile would be the hardest. That was not the case. In reality, knowing that I was almost to the finish line made me very excited and gave me additional energy to finish strong. There’s something about knowing you’ve almost made it to the end that brings great joy!

I imagine it is similar in life. While I definitely feel I am still in the middle of the race of life, I can’t help but believe there’s a special spark of joy that comes before completion. God has given me goals and vision for the future, and will continue to do so throughout my life. It will be so exciting to approach these milestones.

6.       Regardless of how the ending looks, there is a beauty and honor in completion.

My 10k was somewhat lackluster in excitement at the end, as most people had already finished and the 5k runners were standing there preparing to start. However, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face running through the finish line. It didn’t matter how long it took me or what was happening around me. I completed a life goal, and there was great joy in that experience.

In life, I can’t wait to see what it will be like once my time and God’s purpose in me has been completed. While there may not be a huge crowd of support on earth, the honor that God gives will be unmatched. It is my greatest hope and goal that when I complete my journey of life, God will say to me with a smile and sincerity, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

If you made it through this entire post, I commend you for your diligence in finishing this “race.” It is my hope that no matter what stage of life you find yourself in, that you would keep running. Trust that God is good. Continue to pursue His goals for your life. Don’t be discouraged by the minor setbacks. Remember that God went before you, is running right beside you, and will be there at the very end.

Until next time,

Tamara