Embracing the Uncomfortable

When I was a kid, I had many grandiose plans for my future. I had all kinds of ideas about what early adulthood would entail, and I was certain that everything would just sort of fall into place. While it may have been a bit naïve to think this way, I grew up watching so many people around me whisk through life with what seemed to be such ease and grace. They knew what they wanted out of life, they chased their dreams, and often times it seemed like everything just worked out.

As I am sitting here now, less than three months away from graduating college, I can’t help but laugh at my youthful perspective. While I absolutely support pursuing dreams and believe that hard work pays off, I have learned that there are other factors involved in shaping one’s future. Life isn’t quite as simple as a checklist of acquiring skills, dreams, and accolades. Rather, there is a significant amount of personal growth that has to take place to get to these points. Furthermore, there may be detours along the way that postpone reaching these goals. And, perhaps the most difficult to come to terms with, is that personal dreams may not always align with God’s perfect plan.

If someone was to ask me in my childhood where I thought I would be in life in my early twenties, I’m positive I would not have answered anything along the lines of where I actually am today. While I have had to grow and learn some things the hard way, have faced obstacles to attaining goals, and have even been completely re-routed to a different path than I had planned, I can honestly say, I wouldn’t have it any other way. My five-year-old self would have told you I couldn’t wait to grow up and chase my dreams. As I have grown older, however, I have realized that perhaps my dreams were not the dreams I should have be chasing.

 In Romans 8:28, Paul states, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

This verse is so reassuring to me. As it clearly depicts, I am a child of God created with a purpose in mind. Beyond that, as a follower of Him, God is working for my good. So while I might have many great dreams that could blossom into something tangible and remarkable, how much better would it be if I sought to attain the goals and purpose that God set out for my life before I even came into existence? How much better could I be if I embraced the things God has challenged me to pursue?

As I am entering a transitional phase of life and certainly still possess many dreams and goals, I am not suggesting the best idea is to throw these hopes out the window. Rather, I am choosing today to yield my dreams to God. I am choosing to place His will above my own, as His ways are perfect and better than mine. I am choosing to embrace any challenges or uncomfortable things that come about because I know that God is working for my good.

If you are feeling uncertain, disappointed, or even cynical towards your future, I challenge you to adopt a new mindset. Don’t give up on your dreams. Instead, give them to God. Ask God if your dreams are something that He has planned for you. Embrace moments of growth and correction. If your dreams turn out to be something that God does not have planned for your life, be willing to aspire to His greater call. Whether you feel like it right now or not, God has created you with a purpose. Beyond that, there is nothing He desires more than for you to seek His will.

Until next time,

Tamara

Haiti 2016: The Reality

“Give me money.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that right now.”

“Why do you want my family to starve?”

This was the beginning of an actual conversation I had with a real person who possessed real needs and real feelings. I have to say, I was very caught off guard by this bold statement directed towards me. Part of me was shocked that someone could just blatantly make such a claim, and wanted to jump into defensive mode; leery of the possibility that this individual may have been trying to manipulate me into giving them money. The other part of me was really shaken up by this, realizing that the person I was speaking with may, in fact, have been in a level of such great desperation that they felt the need to go to such extreme measures in order to get my attention.

At somewhat of a loss for words, I began to ask the young man about his family. Although there was a bit of a language barrier, from my understanding, he was trying to tell me that his mother was ill and his father had left their family. There was a sadness in his voice, and in the moment I really just wished I could meet all of his needs. We talked for a little while longer, and I left the boy with a promise to pray for his family through this difficult time.

Honestly, I am not satisfied with how I handled this. I wish I would’ve given him a meal to take home, or something more. It happened very quickly, and I was not fully prepared for it. Nevertheless, this encounter really shifted my perspective.

While it would be easy to overlook this exchange and focus on the happy memories I had in Haiti, I must not neglect the gravity of encounters like this. That conversation was NOT comfortable! Nonetheless, it was an important conversation. It reminded me to stay in tune with the needs of those around me. It challenged me to be more willing to sacrifice, putting others before myself. It pushed me to lean more on the direction of the Holy Spirit, and less on my own understanding.

Although I am not advocating passing out money to strangers, I think it is very important that, when appropriate, we are willing to make a sacrifice for others. The reality is, while some people may have genuine needs and others may have ulterior motives, each person has a story. Likewise, we must be willing to sit down and listen. We must be willing to take time for them, meanwhile listening to the direction of the Holy Spirit. Maybe it’s a prayer they need, or maybe it’s a meal. Maybe it’s just a smile or hug.

Whatever the case may be, I challenge you, as I have been personally challenged, to be step outside your comfort zone and offer yourself to be used by God. Allow yourself to love people in the way that Jesus loved us. I am learning that offering this type of love is often a gateway to making God's unconditional love known to those around us. 

Until next time,

Tamara

Haiti 2016: The Reunion

In July 2014, I stepped on a plane headed back to the United States, feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I was leaving a place that had left such a significant impact on my heart. God had done great things on the trip I had just taken, as well as on the first trip I took to Haiti in 2012, but there was an unsettled feeling within me. I sensed God saying to me, “You are not finished here.” Little did I know, the rest of my story would pick up in 2016 with a college group that would grow to be very important to me, and with an outreach organization that would soon inspire me in ways that I never could have anticipated.

Last week, I had the joy of returning to Les Cayes, Haiti. This experience certainly brought a multitude of emotions, challenges, and opportunities to learn. Most of all, however, it led me to be closer to God. Although I have a countess number of stories to share, over the next few days I would love to simply highlight a few of the things that truly left a lasting impact on me.

Perhaps, the most impactful encounter I experienced last week was with Daphne (pictured on the left) and Bethsaida (pictured on the right).

In 2012, I met two girls that immediately had a special connection with me and my mom. Although there was a language barrier, we communicated in a way that was beyond words. We laughed together, played games, sang together, and shared many special moments. I grew to love Bethsaida’s spunky, energetic personality, and Daphne’s quiet, sweet spirit. I especially related to Daphne, as her interests and temperament were so similar to my own.

In 2014, my parents and I returned to Haiti and got to see these girls once again. It was such a special time to see how they had grown. Getting to spend another week with them really led me and my parents to feel a new level of love for these girls. They weren’t just “some kids” that we sponsored; they were a part of our family. They were (and ARE) valuable individuals that deserved to have someone praying for them and loving them.

Little did I know, I would once again see these beautiful girls! The only way I can describe how this happened is by God. On the trip I took last week, I was coming with a different church and partnering with a different program called “Hut Outreach.” While I was still extremely excited to return to Haiti and work alongside this organization, I couldn’t help but wish I could still see these girls.

That wish came true.

Long story short, the two organizations were only a ten minute drive apart, and it just so happens that they planned to connect for the first time during my stay in Haiti. After visiting with the missionaries at Arise Haiti (where I first met the girls), I knew that I needed to see them again. By the grace of God (and the help of some very intentional missionaries), we were able to arrange a last-minute meeting!

It’s hard to put into words what this meant to me, but it was something very special. I was able to share with Daphne and Bethsaida something God put on my heart to tell them. I may not ever know if these words meant anything to them, but I know that God softened my heart to love and care for them in a way far beyond what I ever could have on my own.  

I am so grateful for this experience. It is something I will truly never forget. 

Until next time,

Tamara

Tomorrow

Tomorrow. It’s a scary thing. It’s an exciting thing. It’s affected by our choices today, yet holds the power to bring something new. It can bring destruction. It can bring hope. Tomorrow is undefined. Perhaps, then, that is why many of us spend our days thinking about tomorrow. Whether you find yourself in the category of longing for tomorrow, wishing life was better, or worrying about tomorrow, hoping it won’t bring pain, there is risk in dwelling on tomorrow. As we become consumed with the variables of what is to come, we fail to cherish the moments we have in front of us. Furthermore, we may drift into self-reliance and a lack of faith in God.

Dwelling on tomorrow is certainly something that challenges me. As a single college student who is one year away from graduating, I spend a lot of time thinking about my next steps in life. Will I find the right job? Will I be able to afford grad school right away? When will I move out of my parent’s house? Will I find the right person to marry? While these are normal questions that one may have during this stage of life, they may become dangerous if I allow them to consume me. I must be careful not to forget about the life I’ve been given right now. I must not lose sight of the fact that God has placed me where I am for a distinct purpose. The school I am attending, the job I have, and the relationships I have with others are not to be simply viewed as an intermission. These moments are just as important as the future. As tomorrow may hold new opportunities and challenges, today holds unique opportunities and trials of its own. Likewise, it is vital that I give today the same attention I give tomorrow.

Beyond running the risk of neglecting today, dwelling on tomorrow may cause me to drift towards a lack of dependence on God. As someone who always likes to have a plan, I don’t like the idea of not knowing what my future holds. It’s uncomfortable. It’s scary. It’s out of my control, and to be honest, I am not a fan of that! However, when I spend time worrying about tomorrow, I am actually cultivating a lack of trust in God. 

In the Bible, Matthew talks about how God cares for Creation. God never ceases to provide for the birds, the plants, and other creatures. How much more, then, must he care for His people? (Matthew 6:25-34).  Something I must continuously remind myself of is that when I surrender my life to God and follow Him, He will take care of my needs. Therefore, I don’t need to worry. I don’t need to rely on my own strength to control a situation because God has promised to direct me through every situation (Jeremiah 30:22). Furthermore, He has promised the same for you!

If you find yourself feeling the weight of tomorrow, I challenge you to take a step back and reflect on today. While tomorrow may present new opportunities and challenges, there is purpose in today. Allow yourself to grow, learn, and trust God through whatever it is you are facing right now. As you grow in contentment of today, God will prepare you for tomorrow. 

Until next time,

Tamara

Stop Waiting

 As a single woman, I have come across dozens of articles regarding what I must search for in a man. While the articles vary from encouraging to downright ridiculous, suggesting there is a man out there who will eventually wait on me hand and foot, I have become increasingly bothered by these posts. It is healthy to desire a significant other who is kind, Godly, righteous, and faithful. It is great to avoid settling for less than that. By no means am I suggesting that it is erroneous to encourage and set healthy standards for a relationship. However, I feel that the attention this topic has received has taken away from a greater issue at hand. While relationships have the power to shape us, inspire us, encourage us, and benefit us, they should not define us. They should not be our ultimate goal. They should not take away from our purpose today.

Far too often, our society fools us into believing that finding “the one” is more important than it truly is. Our happiness, our completion, our future, and our arrival into adulthood supposedly hinge on the pretense of finding one’s “soulmate.” Likewise, those of us who are single are expected to sit around and wait patiently for just the right person to walk into our lives.

What if we wait patiently, refuse to settle for an unhealthy relationship, and that person NEVER comes?

As much as I’d like to promise that eventually we will all find that perfect relationship, there is no guarantee that that will happen. The GOOD news is, we do not have to wait around for a supposedly “life-changing” relationship in order to move forward in life. Rather, God has promised us that we have purpose, may grow, and may find completion TODAY through Him.

As Ephesians 2:10 states, ^“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

We were not created to be completed by some other human being. Rather, we were created with specific, unique purposes that God himself crafted. We were created to carry out God’s plan for our lives, whatever that may look like. Therefore, I encourage you…

Stop waiting for who God has created for you, and start becoming who God created you to be.

Maybe you’ll meet a special person one day that helps you grow and brings you joy. Whether or not that happens, you and I can take heart in the fact that God has given each one of us a unique purpose on this earth. Likewise, it is our responsibility to act on the gifts He has given us. Don’t let the idea of finding the perfect relationship someday hinder you from experiencing all that God has for you today. Instead, I challenge you to stop waiting. Stop waiting for what could be, and start striving to become the person God has created you to be today.

Until next time,

Tamara

No Good Thing Does He Withhold

There are many proverbs and sayings about the consequences of our actions. They range from “What goes around comes around,” to “You reap what you sow,” to “Sometimes bad things happen to good people.” The interesting thing is, the saying we agree with often depends entirely on what we are going through in life. For example, after receiving a promotion at work, or an award for a job well done, it would be typical to respond with the mindset that you have earned this and deserve the recognition. On the other hand, finding out that your mom has cancer, or that you have lost your job often elicits the opposite response. You may question, “What did I do to deserve this? Why is this happening to me?”

The question regarding why God lets bad things, even terrible, earth-shattering things happen to people who are faithful to Him has challenged me for years. In Psalm 84:11 it states, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” I came across this verse several months ago, to which I responded with, “WHAT? I don’t understand. If God does not withhold anything good from those who are faithful to Him, then why isn’t my life going better? Why am I facing so much stress? Why do I feel so lonely? Why haven’t I received the things that I feel I have earned? It sure seems like He is holding out on me!”

Accepting that the Bible is wholly true (regardless of whether or not I understand it), I decided to further examine this verse. Upon examination, I found two issues with my understanding: 1.) My definition of “good,” and 2.) My degree of “blamelessness,” or “faithfulness.”

According to my previous understanding of this verse, a “good thing” was a blessing. To me, I viewed it as seeing the fruition of my hard work. If I was faithful to God and worked really hard, I would earn the things I desired. While this can be true sometimes, this is NOT what the verse means. Rather, a good thing in this context denotes something that is good FOR us. As the Lord is the one giving the good, it is HIS definition of “good,” not ours, that is the gift being given. In other words, what I may see as good or deserved is not necessarily the same as what God sees as beneficial to me.

Secondly, I struggled with the concept of blamelessness. Other translations also refer to this as “faithfulness” or “being upright.” For the most part, I thought I had done a pretty good job of living according to God’s Word. I had genuinely tried to live a life that was pleasing to God, and tried to follow the guiding of the Holy Spirit. However, the words “blameless,” “faithful,” or “upright” have a much higher degree of sincerity than I had picked up on in my initial reading. To be faithful isn’t just to try and live a life that honors God. It is to constantly be seeking His direction, and continuously following His will.

Reading this verse again with a new understanding of these definitions, my perception shifted dramatically. Again, it states, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” This verse doesn’t indicate a perfect life. It doesn’t promise fulfillment of personal desires, or protection from pain. It doesn’t mean God is always going to bless us for doing what we believe is right. However, there is a deeper promise interwoven throughout this verse. The promise is that when we choose to allow God to guide our lives and follow His will, He will give us what He believes is in our best interest. Unfortunately, actually understanding God’s definition of what is good for us is often far beyond human comprehension. Nevertheless, I will gladly put my faith and efforts into serving a God who knows more than I ever could possibly know about myself. I will eagerly choose to seek God’s will rather than my own, because His ways are better. While I may not always understand it, I will gratefully accept the promise that God will NOT withhold anything that He defines as good from me.

If you are struggling to find the goodness in your life, I encourage you to examine this verse. Maybe you need to reevaluate your intentions. Are your actions self-seeking, or God-focused? Or perhaps you need to shift your understanding of a “good thing.” Do you see good things as satisfaction of the pleasures you crave, or the fulfillment of your best interest? Wherever you’re at, take heart in the fact that God cares about you deeply. Whether you realize it or not, He wholeheartedly wants what is best for you. Furthermore, He will bless you and “withhold no good thing” when you earnestly follow His will. 

Until next time,

Tamara

What Does God Think of Gay Marriage?

A political war is waging across America this week. Ready or not, each of us is now forced to face the decision of whether we support or oppose the latest ruling regarding gay marriage. For the majority, there are strong emotions tied to this action. What is so fascinating to me about this entire debate though, is the fact that the two groups creating the biggest feud preach some of the same things.

The Christians, although they oppose the ruling, preach the importance of love. The goal of Christianity is to become more like Christ, and to become like Christ is to be without sin. To be pure, to be holy, and to be upright, we must learn to love like Christ. Christ’s love is without conditions, without limits, without gratification, and without an end.

On the other end of the dispute are those who preach tolerance and acceptance. They believe in giving everyone a choice as to how they live their lives. They believe in loving others without strings attached. They believe in supporting the actions of others.

To see both sides of the spectrum with an unbiased approach, it becomes clear that the groups share a common ideal. At the core of the matter, each group desires to show love and kindness to those around them. So what is the big difference, and why is it such a big deal? And what does God think of gay marriage, anyway?

The difference is actually quite simple. While the tolerant group argues to take each person as they are, they are, thus, supporting humanity and its fragility.

On the other hand, the Christian perspective seeks restoration for a broken people. Homosexuality, among all other sin, is something that takes us further away from God. As Romans 3:23 states, we have all fallen short of the glory of God. So while, yes, homosexuality is sinful, there is a greater issue at hand. Unlike the tolerant perspective, the Christian perspective supports a complete shedding of self, and adoption of new morals and standards that are like Christ.

Unfortunately, our country is drifting further and further from Biblically moral standards, and has opted to “create” its own instead.

I truly believe it hurts God to see a culture that is aggressively seeking to provide a gateway to sin (such as this new ruling). However, I think He is also saddened by the fact that we (those of us who are Christians) can become so caught up in the politics that we forget the very nature of God.

God is unconditionally loving, and unconditionally forgiving. He has chosen to love each one of us despite each and every flaw we have. More than anything, He wants us all to find restoration. So perhaps some of us need a reminder of that. We were not born without out sin. Homosexual or not, we all fall short of God’s glory. Likewise, we are absolutely supposed to love the gay community in spite of their sin. God does!

However, we can’t ignore the difference between the two groups. While I believe tolerant people genuinely are very loving, there is danger in their plea. To choose acceptance is to give way to our sinful nature. In doing so, morality becomes foggy and chaos is unleashed. People become their own lords, and freedom from sin drifts further away from our reach.

Therefore, we must all decide. First, we must choose whether to love people unconditionally, or to set parameters on our love. Secondly, we must choose our level of contentment. Do we accept ourselves, our society, and our culture in their current state? Or do we seek to be greater? Do we seek to resemble the nature of Christ, or do we seek to satisfy our own nature?

Until next time,

Tamara